


calm down fool

by angelheartbeat



Series: fuck it ill do it myself [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Babbling, Bruce Banner Hulks Out, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Jokes, Kissing, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 07:50:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14184306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheartbeat/pseuds/angelheartbeat
Summary: Thor attempts to de-Hulk Bruce and stop his rambling post-transformation.





	calm down fool

**Author's Note:**

> idk man this is shit and gay but theres not enough of these two suckers so fuck it ill do it myself

Hulk had been marginally calmer since they had been hurtling through space, and Thor was hoping and praying for Banner's return before the green guy decided he was bored and started smashing things - resources on the ship were limited at best, and they couldnt afford to lose any by incurring Hulk's wrath.

But eventually, he got bored, and fists were pounded, and Thor was forced to intervene as best he could. There was no Nat recording here to satiate the beast, so it was down to Thor, with Loki and Val regarding it with interest and more than a little skepticism.

"Suns getting low, Banner, cmon, come back to us," Thor pleaded, attempting to reach out and grab the massive hand.

"No Banner!" Hulk roared. "Only Hulk!"

"Oh, come on," Thor muttered, before raising his voice again slightly. "Its me, buddy, come on!! We can't afford to lose anything to your goddamn anger all the time!"

Hulk looked hurt for a fraction of a second, and looked as though he would charge at Thor, and Thor was almost convinced Loki and Val were eating popcorn. Before Hulk could pound his fist into Thor's face, though, his body began to shift, painfully twisting and cracking, morphing back into a meek twinky scientist. There was a beat of silence before Thor was at his side.

"Banner? Banner, can you hear me?"

Bruce twisted round in panic before his eyes settled on Thor's face and relaxed marginally, but it didnt last long before he opened his mouth and a torrent of words came flooding out.

"Thor!! Thor did we win?? Is your evil sister dead?? Wow I cant believe we killed your sister like I know we had to but I'm sorry man- did you get an eyepatch? You're like a pirate now do you know what a-"

"Banner."

"-pirate is? Do you have those here? Pirate! Pirate! Yarr space pirate are we on a ship? Whats going on I hope we won at least even though that looks painful did you lose the eye or-"

"Banner!"

"-like did something make you go blind?? It wasn't me was it?? Did I do that!! Oh no thor I'm so sorr-"

"Banner!!"

"Huh?"

"Banner, no you didnt do anything, we killed my sister, its alright, Asgard blew up a little though." Thor replied, smiling a little despite the pang of grief in his heart at losing his home.

"What!!!!! Asgard blew up????? Oh no Thor I'm so sorry you must be devastated you lost your hammer and your hair and your eye and now your home-"

Thor grimaced. "Don't remind me."

"So why are we on a ship?? Don't tell me I was the Hulk for years again and I've destroyed things, oh god, I'm gonna freak out again I can feel it-"

In a desperate bid to stop Bruce from babbling himself into oblivion, Thor leaned forward, hugged him close, and pressed a kiss to his lips. He would be lying if he said he hadnt wanted an excuse to do that for a long time.

When he pulled away, Bruce was looking at him in amazement, and luckily in silence. There was a chorus of disgusted "ew"ing from their captive audience, who when Thor glared at them were lounging in chairs and smiling like assholes, which they were.

"Stop babbling like a fool," Thor said, feeling his cheeks go pink, and holding back a chuckle at watching Bruce stammer as he tried to formulate a complete sentence.

"Everything's fine. We're on our way back to Earth, back home."

The mention of Earth sent Bruce back into ecstasy, desperate to get home, see his friends. "Oh, thank god! Thank you, thank you!" he cried, sitting up and seemingly disregarding his almost-nakedness. He didnt seem to know what to do with his hands, putting them anywhere he could reach, on Thor's face, arms, neck, pulling him close and kissing him all over, until "thank you"s turned into "I love you"s, and the two disgruntled chaperones made fake vomit sounds and walked out.

They'd be all right. They were going home.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote that in like 20 minutes and now i want to die
> 
> leave comments or ill shank you


End file.
